Betraying a friend

I thought of you today dear Anna
I don’t really know why
Please forgive me for thinking of you while engaged with the toilet
But life is strange and so to was the day that you left

I woke up early to the sound of chatting birds discussing the best methods of catching worms
I rubbed sleepy men from eyes and put on my glasses
I dragged my feet down the dusty old hall way and stopped for a moment to admire particles of gold dancing at my feet in the new morning light

It was so cold that morning, but this made it better
I knew you would be there waiting for me to slide my icicle feet under your warm brown belly
I made my way to the lounge and sure enough you were there as I knew you would be
I turned on the telly and flicked past the static in search of a fraggle or mutant turtle

And then I turned to you

Something was lost in the warmth of your seal pup eyes
I slapped on my thighs and called out your name
You motioned no answer
Your once waggling tail lay lifeless on the ugly green couch
I repeated once more the slap on the thighs

You were a good girl and would surely come
You lay there
Struggling inside your own being,desperately trying to fulfil my request

Because I had called you
Because you were a good girl
Because we were best friends, I had not given up

You mustered all of your strength and halfway stood up
I knew you could do it and called you again
You collapsed in a heap on the cold golden floor
I knew it was bad but not what was wrong
Scared like the child I was I whispered into your ear it would all be ok
Mostly for you, partly for me

I ran to my parents and they weren’t too much help
Precious minutes passed as they looked you, as sadly and ill equipped as I had been
They bundled you up in a box in a blanket and patted your head repeating the mantra
“You’ll be ok.”
“You’re a good girl.”
“It’s alright.”

We went to the vet to fix you right up
I honestly thought that it would be and I told you once more it would all be okay
My parents went in and then they came out
They couldn’t look me in the eye
It wasn’t okay, I didn’t want to say goodbye and I couldn’t look you in those trusting eyes as we murdered you
So I left you to die
Alone
Scared
Confused

A good girl
A best friend
A wonderful companion that would never leave my side

Sorry